From Validation to Authenticity: My Journey to Personal and Creative Freedom
Through my 20s, I was completely hung up on what everyone else thought about me. This whole mess of needing approval damn near led me to drown in alcoholism. It seemed like the perfect escape—numbing my insecurities and making it easier to fit in with the crowd. But hell, every morning, waking up with last night’s regrets and maybe even vomit on my lip, I’d wonder who I might've pissed off or what dumb shit I’d done. This nightmare didn’t stop as I hit my 30s—it clung on tight, and looking back, I really didn’t have shit to show for those lost years soaked in booze and anxiety.
I finally kicked the bottle at 34, but let me tell you, getting sober was just the beginning. It took a full year of sobriety to start the heavy lifting—doing the mental and emotional work that led to some groundbreaking realizations about myself and my life.
Everything started to shift when I began questioning the whole point of living by trends and others' opinions. That soul-searching sparked a pivotal realization: staying true to myself wasn’t just good for my creativity; it was essential for my mental health. The moment I stopped hunting for my peers' nods of approval and focused on what really made me happy, my work transformed. It stopped being a tedious act for applause. Instead, it became a true extension of me—genuine, fulfilling, and fun as hell.
This transformation wasn't just about me. It was shaped by every mentor I've ever had. Each one left their mark, for better or worse, and helped mold the person and pro I am today. Their lessons led me to the little successes I've enjoyed. But watching them, I noticed that despite their achievements, a lot of them were miserable. Contrast that with folks like a single mother of two, working two jobs, who’s got more patience and humor than any high-powered executive fighting off a heart attack.
I’ve learned the hard way that real success and happiness come from within—not from anyone else’s applause. It’s about creating something that resonates with your core. And often, those who don’t seem "successful" by traditional measures are actually nailing life with a richer, more joyful balance.
Reflecting on my journey, I’m fucking grateful for every bit of it—it’s brought me closer to my true self and cut me loose from the exhausting need to please everyone. Now, my creative work is a source of joy and self-expression, not a plea for approval. This shift has not only freed me up but also made my work connect better with others (I hope).
As I continue on this path, I’m reminded daily that the most badass journey is the one that leads back to our true selves. It’s never too late to kick the bullshit and redefine success and happiness on your own terms.
Embracing Your Authentic Path
If you’re feeling the pull to carve out your own authentic path, here’s some real talk on what’s worked for me:
Self-Reflection: Take time to dig deep and figure out what truly lights you up, not just what others expect from you.
Set Boundaries: It’s cool to turn down stuff that doesn’t vibe with you—make space for what does.
Seek Inspiration: Stick with people and places that lift you up, not drag you down.
Experiment Creatively: Jump into new hobbies or old ones, and drop the pressure to be perfect.
Celebrate Small Wins: Every step forward is worth a cheer, no matter how small.
If you’re looking for some straight-up advice or just need a chat as you find your way, hit me up. You can drop me an email at fire@dontburnthefood.com or DM me on Instagram @heardbehind. I’m all ears and can’t wait to hear how you’re making your life genuinely yours & dope. PEACE.
