On Service To Others
Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
As a child, the idea of serving others can feel more like a burden than a virtue. Often, we grow to resent it, having spent the first 18 years of our lives being told what to do. My own experience involved constantly doing things for my aunts and mother, leaving little time for myself. I vividly remember being dragged to a soup kitchen in East Cleveland several times a week to help feed and preach to the homeless. At the time, I saw it as a waste of my precious teenage hours and was probably terrified to be in the same room as some of those people. Looking back, I realize I couldn’t have been a more selfish kid.
My mom forcing me to scoop green beans onto someone’s plate, someone who was just grateful to be inside eating a warm meal, taught me some of the most important life lessons. Service to others is at the heart of human existence. For many, especially those in the hospitality industry, it is everything. It’s our reason for being here. We serve others so often that we sometimes forget to serve ourselves. That’s a principle deeply ingrained in me.
My parents met while my dad was the executive chef at the Bond Court Hotel in Cleveland, Ohio. My mother, naturally, was a server. If you’re in this business, you know how the rest goes. I took the lessons I learned from feeding hungry people for granted most of my life. I regret not giving more, not listening more to the stories and struggles of those men and women I so blindly served a piece of bread to, without another thought until now.
The statistics are staggering. On any given night, more than 580,000 people in the United States experience homelessness. Of these, about 35% are unsheltered, living on the streets, in abandoned buildings, or in other places not meant for human habitation. Food insecurity is another critical issue, affecting over 34 million people in the U.S., including 9 million children. These numbers highlight the importance of community service and the urgent need for us to step up and help.
I used to have a twisted way of looking at helping others. It seemed like a selfish, self-serving act. “Look at me, everyone, I’m helping! Aren’t I great?” What a shit mindset, right? Trust me, I’m far from perfect, and I know that. But since the birth of my son and my journey to sobriety, I’ve felt this itch to help—to selflessly give to those in need and return to my roots. Roots that my mother taught me, showing that giving is actually one of the least selfish things you can do.
People need people. We all need one another. Life is about how we leave this place and the people we leave behind. How can I give more? How can I help more? Just some thoughts to ponder while staring at the ceiling as your edible kicks in. Cheers, everyone. Hug your friends. Call your mom.
Muhammad Ali said, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”
